Hope vs. Reality

Boy does my brain hurt. I don't think I have used it this much for at least a decade. I feel it might take a little time for those cogs to start moving again. Today was the first 'proper' day after all the introductions and our primary school observation last week. There are about twenty people studying for an English PGCE and we had a good discussion this morning which revealed we all have very different views about what makes a good English teacher and the role that English should play in the curriculum. This afternoon we covered the history of educational reform and the interplay between the state and education professionals. Historically there has been a lot of mistrust between them, but where teachers and government can work together (like they do in Finland and South Korea) then successful educational policies can be implemented that really make a difference. Finland and South Korea have the best educational systems in the world, by the way.

I am not sure we have hit on the right balance in Britain. Although I found my primary school observation really fascinating, it was also pretty depressing. The school was near where I live - about a seven minute cycle - but the world that those kids inhabit couldn't be more different to mine. Half of the kids in my class came from fractured, chaotic backgrounds and the lack of structure in their lives played out in the form of really disruptive behaviour in the classroom. These are the kids who need good teachers the most but they make themselves difficult to teach.

There was one little boy who caught my eye, not because he was disruptive but because he was in a world of his own. One of the teaching assistants told me that his mother fed him and kept him clean but was not concerned about his well-being in any other way. He loved school, probably because the teachers and teaching assistants cared for him more than his mother, but I thought he was like a little ghost floating about, completely disinterested in learning and almost certainly emotionally damaged. What sort of life is he going to grow up to have? The staff at the school were incredibly well-meaning but if there is no parental support, and there could be any number of reasons why parents can't/won't support their kids, then I am not sure how much difference education can make.

I have made this career change because I am idealistic - I want to share my own passion for literature and language with the children I teach so that they will (hopefully) go on to become articulate, questioning adults with a life-long love and appreciation of the written word. I am discovering that the reality may be very different.